clayce | 001. out there in the sun | beneath the sky // open post

That's one hell of a reincarnation, sir. [ But he's glad, and scared, that Father Aidan was human before. ]

And how did you deal with it, sir? I'm sure you were strong before, but I'm guessing coming to life as a dragon was... strange? To not be human anymore? [ I was never human. Only thought I was. Only think I am. ]

It was very strange. And difficult. I did not deal with it as well as I thought I was.

[That is easy for him to admit now. He was a proud creature, back in the day.]

I thought having a cause and protecting others from a distance was enough. It is a good thing that I had friends who were willing to hold up a mirror and keep me in place long enough to force me to look at it.

[ Brigade notes some implications in Father Aidan's last statement. He's not quite sure what he means.]

Sir, it sounds like you lost touch... with your humanity.

I did. It's only too easy to become a god when you can do everything, know everything, build everything, and break everything down.

[Taking a drag before speaking again.]

I made things worse for myself by believing that the only way to stop it was to not do anything at all, and keep myself away from other people. I was afraid.

[ The level of power described is frightening. Something Brig has always felt is too much for any man to bear. These are his same thoughts when he thinks of Hikaru as Death's soldier. ]

How did you come to control it, sir? Is it still with you? [ Brigade thinks of the things An'yu has shown him. Fears that learning the more esoteric transmutations (not even those of Centimani because he would never go down that road), and his own personality of breaking limitations, might make him something... similar. ]

I'm afraid, sir. Of delving into my transmutations. Afraid I may lose control. Of not being [ you were never human, Brig. Just a doll playing at it ]... anymore.

[Have a sympathetic look in your direction, Brig.]

That is understandable. Still, it is a part of you. To ignore it means to poison yourself. Besides, the more you know about what you can do, the easier all of it will become to control in the future, especially if your heart always remains in the right place.

[Then a small smile.]

I suppose that answers your question about how I handled it. Beliefs exist to keep people grounded, and the best beliefs are centered around the things - the people - that matter to you. Forget them, and you will forget yourself.

[ Brig thinks about dead friends. Thinks about Hawke who he's lucky to have back. Thinks about his Blademates. Of M, J and K.

Particularly M, J and K.]

I never forget them, sir. My memory doesn't ever let me. [ He sighs. ]

But... sometimes I don't know how to be with them. I've never had the chance to really be with them. It's all so new... having them so close.

[Heh.]

I know that feeling well. In my experience, though, you just have to keep applying yourself to it. Being there, I mean. Staying around them. The rest will follow.

I will, sir. Thank you. [ Brig says it with a nod and his head slightly left down.]

Can you... can you control it now? Be as human as everybody else? I heard it was only Chief Eli who could warm-up with you cause he's the only one who could help you try to fight like a human again. And Chief Eli's on levels way higher than any normal human.

I can now. I've had quite a lot of practice, though.

[They're finally reaching the edge of the forest. He considers his direction first, and then decides to take the path to Voidsong.]

For people like us, being human is a matter of resolve and the willingness to learn from creatures who are as terrible as they are remarkable just as we are, yet infinitely more fragile.

[ Brigade tries to note his surroundings. But there's only so much a map will give you. Were they in the forest near the Adamantine Tower, Voidsong, he'd read about? ]

I'll make you one of my benchmarks, sir, so that I always know to remember being human.

[ He gives Father Aidan a look. The man is strong. How amazing he must've been in his time in the 4th World, fighting alongside the likes of Inquisitor Orin ]

I find it sad sometimes, sir, that non-supernaturals think they're weak. I served with a lot of "normals". We took down all types of Nazi supernaturals together. [ He thinks of the worst engagements. The Nazi Riskbreaker hunts. The Titans all came out in one piece. The other HECATON unit members, weren't so lucky. But they couldn't have taken down the Riskbreakers without them. ] They're a lot stronger than they think. I mean, Kaz, my Blademate, sir, went on his Everyman's walk. I can only imagine how much better he'll be when he gets back.

Humans are only as weak as they allow themselves to be. I suppose that the same could be said about everything else out there, though.

[ Brigade asks the question that wasn't really answered. Cause well, he asked the wrong question ]

In the 4th World, sir, were you human too before becoming a Mage? Or were things different in the 4th World and you were born a Mage or something.

The latter. My world was very different from this one... having powers was normal.

I'd say it must've been a much easier world to live in, sir. But if you, Inquisitor Falner and Orin are the only three left, I can't imagine what caused it all to end.

[ Brigade takes in the surroundings. He's not quite sure where they are anymore ]

[Aidan is quiet for a noticeable period of time. His gaze remains fixed on the path ahead.

Then, softly:]

You happen to be looking at what caused it.

Pardon, sir? [ Brigade's not quite sure what he's supposed to be looking at ] The forest?

[ Brigade stops. It dawns on him what Aidan meant ]

Sir, what little that's on your file on GEISTnet said it was abuse of your research that destroyed the Fourth World. It wasn't your fault, sir. Other people must have took advantage it. [ It's not his fault. It's not his fault that there are people who misuse the good work other people start.]

No, Brigade.

[Stopping then, when he's a little bit ahead of the man. Turning back.]

They may have abused it, but it was my own obsession with knowledge and my own arrogance that let things go too far in the first place. It does not matter that I thought that what I was doing was good. The death of my world is and always will be on my hands.

[Oddly enough, though, Aidan sounds sad, but he does not sound as though it was eating at him anymore.]

[ Brigade really doesn't know what to say.]

We make mistakes, sir. [ Brigade sighs. ] But it doesn't mean that no good can come of them, right? [ Right? He thinks of Prometheans and how they're considered a mistake to the natural order of the world. He thinks of how supernaturals are deemed unnatural, but thinks of all the good people he's met who think otherwise as well. ]

If the Fourth World hadn't ended, sir, the Fifth World would probably never have come to be. And none of us, sir, none of everything here now, would be here. [ He's not even sure if it's right to say these things anymore. Telling a man who thinks he destroyed a world that some good did come out of what he thinks was a big mistake ]

Maybe it was time for a reset. And you, fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, got the job to press the reset button... and let the world reboot itself. Give it a second... err, Fifth Chance?... to get things [ there really is no absolute "right", Brig thinks ] done better.

Edited 2014-02-09 14:59 (UTC)

Maybe so. These things are... difficult to consider, to say the least.

[The smile has returned at least. He nods, in a gesture for Brig to come up and join him back at his side before they continue walking.]

I do what I can to keep the Fifth World intact. It's only right, given why I am here in the first place. Whether that is 'good' or 'bad' is yet to be seen.

[ Brigade complies and keeps pace with the Founder of Netsach ]

I'm an optimist, sir. I'm pretty sure it will be the prior. And till we get there, when you're worried if you're doing good, I'll be one of the many people to remind you that you have. [ Brigade pulls out a cigarette pack and motions if it'd be all right if he smoke as well ]

You got my family out of America, sir, and gave me a chance at a new life here with Netsach. It may be a little thing in the grand scheme of things, but it's good done nonetheless. [ Brigade pauses and then adds. ] I think all great good things have had their foundations built with the little good things.

In my experience, they tend to be. As for what I did... I was not alone in that, really.

[Yeah, so, Aidan kind of sucks at taking credit for anything that he does for anybody. Does that look familiar?

In the meantime, they're finally breaking out into a clearing, and standing close to the base foundations of Voidsong.]

I thank you equally none the less, sir. It's been easier for them... and for me with them.

[ Why yes it looks familiar. haha ]

[ As Voidsong comes to view, Brigade finds himself in as much awe as he was when he first saw Aidan Clayce's dragon form. He keeps control of his body's reactions, but is very much impressed ] Dang, that's pretty. The dossiers didn't tell me to expect this.

Dossiers rarely ever do justice to anything.

[Wryly, as he's following Brig's gaze. Voidsong never stops being a sight for sore eyes for him, even with his history.]

You are welcome to free run up this base whenever you like, by the way.

I know that so very well, sir. [ He thinks on Hikaru and how much asking and listening he had to do elsewhere. Past the files. Past the dossiers ]

Are you a mind-reader, sir? Cause part of me was thinking just that. And kicking away any thoughts of cheating with a pair of Frog Feet boots. [ Brigade stifles a laugh ]

Was this... was this your base in the Fourth World, sir? Where you were Weaponmaster of the Adamantine Arrows?

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What are we looking it???:)) Oh god, it just hit me.

Ahahaha. ;;

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